Since Dinner Time
People Don't Just Stop and Stare When We Do the News

News that belongs in the past

Easter Bunny Based Doom To Be Averted
By Grey Entertainment

Continued from the first Apocalyptic Epic: Grey Goo.

Partnerships can be unusual things, duos especially.
Sonny and Cher, Clinton and Gore, Laurel and Hardy, and then there are the funny ha-ha ones like Jobs and Gates and their attempts to avert Armageddon because they want to be rich and lord it over us forever.
Well things just took a serious turn as Jobs and Gates’ efforts start producing solid results, if in surprising areas.
Using Bill Gates’ secret telescope array along with Jobs’ taste in high end lawn furniture they have found that the Easter Bunny may well be the cause of the end of the world.
Believed fictional by many the telescope array (actually more of a network spread across North America) picked up a number of temporal spatial disruptions last Easter.
As much as that sounds like Star Trek dialogue the Santa Examination Unit – a scientific body dedicated to explaining how Santa Claus does his thing, have applied their theories to the situation and believe that the Easter Bunny manages to traverse the planet to deliver chocolate, eggs and possibly messages for a South American Leftist rebel group (The SEU has become increasingly political over the years) by tearing open holes in the space time continuum.
Once a popular Santa related theory, no evidence has ever been found to support it to date.
Sadly the theory indicates that these holes have a potential negative impact on the stability of the planet, and with the increasing number of children more are being opened.
With this in mind Bill Gates is determined to stop the Easter Bunny.
Eager to see the other half do something Steve Jobs is throwing support behind this.
Bill Gates initially wanted to post an armed squad at every potential delivery point around the globe, however that manpower is needed elsewhere as a small conflict with Yetis started last week at after a disastrous diplomatic faux pas when one of Steve Jobs’ assistants started eating her salad with a dessert fork.
Gates has outlined backup plans, two using super science to collapse the distortions safely, though potentially killing the Easter Bunny. These are deemed acceptable risks as the rabbit has been so cavalier with the safety of the planet.
Sadly one plan also involves Bill Gates dressing up in a cowboy outfit with two revolvers, or a hunting outfit with shotgun on Wednesdays, Thursdays and alternating weekends, and chasing that “wascawy wabbit” wherever he may go.
Nevertheless the Easter Bunny presents a clear and present danger in the minds of those seeking to avert doomsday.
Sensing some doubt as to his abilities, Bill Gates has noted that while he is leading this initiative he is not the primary. Instead operational lead has fallen to a number of experts, such as the SEU and the Dog Whisperer, who wants to remain otherwise unnamed for some reason, and his cousin, the Rabbit Shouter, who has been responsible for the elimination of the Canadian Fighting Rabbit incursion in Mexico.
So as of this Easter we will all be saved from this potential fate by the efforts of Bill Gates.

Previous News: Open Call for Aflec Duck.

1031 B.C. - 2010 A.D., Really Pathetic, LLC.